Messages painted recently on the White Rock ‘Rock’ on the corner of Rover and N.M. 4. Courtesy/Tobias Haag

By TOBIAS HAAG
White Rock

Passing by the White Rock “Rock” on the corner of Rover and N.M. 4 on my way to LA, I couldn’t help but notice the graffiti that had overtaken the positive message painted the day before. For years, the “Rock” has been a symbol of fun for celebrations, birthdays, welcome homes, and numerous other messages of joy. Since the pandemic, there has been increasing rhetoric of politization, thanks largely to competing media agencies, unstable political representatives, and ignorant extremism. Unfortunately, the “Rock” is not immune to that politization.

Pride Month 2023 and Juneteenth has now experienced the intolerance shown in 2021 with our “Rock”.  Two years ago, Pride Art was quickly covered up by grey paint by someone who disagreed with the lifestyle choice (White Rock Rock Re-Painted For Pride & Cover Graffiti (ladailypost.com).  The following year, someone poured gray paint over the Pride message (Fight ensues over Pride design on community mural near Los Alamos (kob.com). Granted, the message painted over the art this year attempts to favor anti-fascism and anti-racism, but its vulgarity just makes a mockery of White Rock. It displays a first impression of intolerance and narrow-mindedness for those visiting, and it belittles our youth and those attempting to express their support of freedom in a positive, artistic, and enlightening way.

Pride Month is not about “advertising” the LBGTQ+ lifestyle and spitting in the face of Conservative culture. The defacing of Pride Art last year and year before, as well as Juneteenth Art yesterday totally misses the point. There are many young men and women in our community (and country, and world for that matter) that are either struggling in isolation or openly with their sexuality. There are likely even adults here probably doing the same because let’s face it, even with more acceptance in recent years, being a member of LGBTQ+ community is still not welcomed with acceptance. Youth and young adults around our country frequently commit suicide, and large numbers of those may be attributed to fear of acceptance, disappointment, or struggles with mental health. In 2021, New Mexico ranked 4th behind Montana, Wyoming, and Alaska for suicide death rates (CDC, 2021). As someone that struggled with my own sexuality and mental health for years, I can honestly say it is an internal battle to understand what is happening mentally inside your own head. 

I grew up Mormon, and my perception witnessed a stigma that any deviation from a normal religious life was intolerable, especially one that involved any sexuality other than heterosexuality. The message was “You are bound for hell for thinking that way. You will disappoint and disgrace your family if you choose that lifestyle.” The fear of letting down family or friends that may lash out or not accept the lifestyle is a crippling and defeating feeling. I often thought there was just something wrong with me, and that in time maybe these “impure” thoughts would go away on their own. Instead, my struggles led to intense depression, drug use, alcohol abuse, rageful anger, and frequent (often daily) thoughts of suicide that did not retreat until years later after finally seeking medical help. That is another story altogether, but it saved my life but was the hardest thing I have ever done. (If you are reading this opinion article, and you have those same struggles, there is help. I thought I couldn’t do it. I sat in the hospital parking lot at LAMC for an hour as a completely broken man. It took all my courage and strength to finally walk into MANNM and say “I need help”. They were welcoming, helpful, and pointed me in the direction of those that could provide more assistance. If you feel the same, there is help available). Now, being older, I do not believe I was alone in those types of feelings. I believe thousands (if not way more) struggle in similar manner as I did.

Furthermore, to paint over messages supporting the history of racial equality and freedom is unintelligible and pathetic. For the longest time, the U.S. was about moving forward. Events like this continuously demonstrate strides in the other direction. This type of vandalism shows a complete lack of understanding for African American adversity throughout American History. Whoever defaced that art that day has never experienced the bigotry, resentment, discrimination, and exclusion that African Americans have faced historically and continue to confront in modern-day America. That person’s hardest day (especially in White Rock, NM), is not even a fraction of the suffering and hardships that people of color experience or have experienced. Even with my own struggles, who am I to say I understand? I couldn’t possibly. I can educate myself, read about history, watch Ken Burns’ documentaries all day long, and I still would not be able to fully grasp the struggles of Non-White Americans versus that of my own.  

The defacing of Pride Art and celebrations of Freedom demonstrates what I believe is far from the reality and spirit of White Rock, which is that its inhabitants are bigoted, close-minded, arrogant hillbillies. This vandalism (and it is vandalism) was done out of cowardice. Everyone who painted the initial Pride Art or Juneteenth message would proudly stand up and embrace their expression of tolerance and hope. I do not believe this person would do the same. People like that hide behind their keyboard on social media platforms, arguing and insulting others who offer different opinions of their own. They wait until the dead of night to tarnish art and messages because they believe they stand for others. Even though that person is afraid to openly stand for anything. 

So, we have our “Rock”, that sits like a beacon at the entrance to White Rock. Today, it shines and symbolizes that White Rock is a foolish town full of ignorance and intolerant bigots. If you are reading this, you know that is not true.  White Rock and Los Alamos houses some of the brightest minds in the entire world. LANL employs diverse groups from every race and ethnicity, as well as many from the LGBTQ+ community. Can this community be improved? Sure. Will we one day have more than one major grocery chain, three restaurant chains (four if you count Starbucks), and the nine bars that currently exist? Maybe not. But we can embrace our differences, politics aside, because this town is better than that. We have a low crime rate, safe neighborhoods, great schools, and intelligent residents.  

Maybe it is time the “Rock” is retired. This last week alone, I have seen the “Rock” painted multiple times.  One morning, a family painted a message for a birthday, only for later in the afternoon someone else painted over it. One solution is for the county to offer permits so that 1) families or groups have an opportunity to have their celebratory messages up for a whole day and 2) get pre-approval for messages that do not convey intolerance. That way, messages promoting hatred and bigotry could not legally be displayed. Charge $10 much the same as the Lemon Lot. You get caught painting the “Rock” without it or defacing with vandal intent, pay a fine.

Another solution is to just remove it and put up an official “Welcome to White Rock” sign every other town has. Maybe the time for having an open forum for community art is over, especially when it results in images like that of June 19th, 2023. Have the first thing people see when they come into White Rock be a professional, positive sign, and not a defaced landmark.

Whatever the solution may be, the fact is that our “Rock” has transitioned from a fun message board to a politicized joke is tragic. Our LGBTQ+ residents and those promoting Freedom should be welcomed and encouraged. Messages of hatred and intolerance should not be tolerated, especially in town famous for low crime rate and quiet living. I hope some solution comes to fruition. I believe the town can harbor citizens that hold firm beliefs, whether that is one of religious Conservative nature or those with more liberal opinions. The U.S. is a great country that allows both. No one expects everyone to agree on all issues. Even whoever painted the rock with graffiti; no one is coming after your lifestyle or saying don’t believe a certain way. Other countries detain or kill their citizens for expressing themselves differently than their government deems appropriate. Homosexuals are put to death in some countries in this world (Iran, Yemen among countries where being gay is punishable by death (usatoday.com). 73 countries have laws outlawing same-sex relations (National Geographic, 2023). In contrast, Christians are persecuted everyday in the world, depending on the region (The 50 Countries Where It’s Most Dangerous to Follow Jesus… | News & Reporting | Christianity Today). There is enough violence and hatred flowing in this world for all types of people. Be thankful to live in a country that has favorable views on Human Rights, and although there are conflicting views on the scope of Freedom of Speech, at least we do have that Constitutional Right.

My challenge to whoever spray-painted the “Rock”: use that effort to unify and support issues that you face. Instead of focusing on the tribulations and actions of other people, focus on what you can do to make your world better. You don’t believe in LGBTQ+ culture? No one is asking you to. But you may someday be confronted with a situation where it does impact your life, and you may have to decide how you will handle it. My brother is very openly gay, and my parents struggled with it for years. One day, they realized that is who he was and who he was going to be. That was their son, and they couldn’t imagine going one day without him in this world. Having kids of my own, you learn to love your kids more than life itself. The last thing I would ever want is for any of my kids to feel the hopelessness and pain I did, and especially to take an action to remove themselves from a world they view as intolerant. 

You want to make a positive or impactful difference? Try making someone’s life better or serving others.  Not always an easy thing to do but very rewarding. You want to talk about it more?  I am a resident here and would gladly listen without judgement. I’ve done things that have been harmful, to myself and others, as well as illegal. I’ve been to jail, lost good jobs and opportunities, hit rock bottom, and built myself back up from absolute failure. My point in saying that is that there is not much I have not been through or heard. I’ve been idealistic and rageful in prior years, and it is not the answer. So, whoever painted the “Rock” with hate, I got time for you if you need it. I don’t agree with your message, but I understand the intent. This challenge is not about don’t do it or else! It is about if not that, what else? What else can you do to make a difference? There are many possibilities. Whatever your beliefs, God Bless the USA, our town, and our Youth, no matter what road you walk down.