By Fr. Glenn Jones:
I saw a good inspirational video on social media the other day. It began with a driver’s angry tirade at a cab driver after a narrow miss almost fender bender, and the cabbie simply just smiled and waved back. The passenger asked him how he could be so calm and so friendly in such a situation. Mr. Cabbie quietly responded that people are like garbage trucks—they collect and carry so much frustration, disappointment and anger, and when the garbage piles up, they need a place to dump it—and sometimes it just happens to be on us. But, realizing this pent up emotion is not really targeted toward you, just smile and wave and wish them well, and you can move hearts.
Such an insightful sentiment. Kindness and patience, two cardinal virtues woven through Scripture and Christian tradition, define real discipleship of Jesus and provide the framework for true spiritual maturity. These virtues, not just mere niceties, stand as expressions of the divine character.
Scripture consistently affirms kindness as a distinguishing mark of Christian life. The apostle Paul identifies kindness as one of the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22), linking it indelibly to the presence of God’s grace within the believer. More so, Paul offers kindness as an apostolic prerequisite: “in purity, knowledge, patience, and kindness; in the Holy Spirit and in sincere love” (2 Corinthians 6:6). Kindness is not simply a disposition but rather love in practice, validating any true messenger of the Gospel by lived example rather than by doctrine alone.
Paul references the interplay between kindness and the justice of God: “Take notice, therefore, of the kindness and severity of God” (Romans 11:22). He reminds believers that kindness and righteous judgment are not contradictory but exist in a moral unity—kindness standing as the compassionate invitation to salvation, while severity falls on persistent refusal of the good. This balance guards against presumption and emphasizes a persevering response to grace: “… if you continue in His kindness”.
Early Christian writers recognized the transforming power of kindness. St. Clement of Rome underscored God’s patience and kindness toward pagans, inviting all to repentance through forbearance rather than coercion. The patristic tradition often links Christian discipleship with the corporal works of mercy, affirming that real kindness radiates outward in concrete service, echoing Christ’s mercy to those who are marginalized.
St. John Chrysostom frequently exhorted believers to mirror Christ’s kindness—even towards enemies—insisting that kindness is more persuasive than argument or eloquence and serves as the greatest apologetic for the Christian faith: “Nothing makes us so like God as being ready to forgive the wicked and wrongdoers and to show kindness to sinners.”
And patience is intricately connected to kindness, forming another facet of Christlike love. Scripture praises patience as part of the Holy Spirit’s fruit (Galatians 5:22) and as an ingredient of Christian maturity: “Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (James 1:4). Unlike mere tolerance, patience involves enduring discomfort without complaint, self-control, humility, and generosity. Patience is vital because it faces discomfort, trial, or irritation, requiring active trust in God’s love rather than passive resignation.
St. Augustine of Hippo also regarded patience as a divine gift so fundamental that even God, who suffers nothing, is described as “patient” by virtue of His forbearance with evildoers. True patience, Augustine teaches, is not mere endurance but has “the right cause”—namely, trust in God’s wisdom and timing. For Augustine, patience becomes truly praiseworthy only when it flows from a good cause, comes forth from love, and is exercised without the pollution of vice.
The highest exemplar of both kindness and patience is, of course, Jesus Himself. The Gospels depict Jesus responding to misunderstanding, slowness, and outright hostility—not with irritation, but with forbearance and mercy. His interactions with the disciples reveal countless opportunities for frustration; yet, Jesus rebukes only as necessary and always for the sake of correction, never out of impatience or wounded pride. His patience finds its culmination in the Passion and crucifixion, where “led like a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before its shearers is silent, he did not open his mouth” (Isaiah 53:7, fulfilled in the Gospels).
Even apart from divine revelation, philosophers have recognized the centrality of kindness and patience. Aristotle classifies kindness as an essential virtue of philia (friendship-love), necessary for the flourishing of both society and individuals. Patience nears his conception of fortitude, the virtue that endures hardship and tempers the passions. The Stoic Seneca, often quoted by Christian writers, praises adversity as the purifying crucible of patience, teaching that “misfortunes are designed to build virtue in us, and among the virtues gained through difficulty is patience”.
To cultivate kindness and patience is to pursue holiness by daily choices. Kindness requires openness and generosity—seeking the good of others, even at cost to oneself. Patience is forged in the ordinary and often tedious moments of life: a slowly-moving line, the difficult colleague, chronic illness or pain. Each trial is, according to scripture, a means by which God matures the soul (James 1:2-4).
The path to true discipleship thus passes through small, hidden acts—where kindness gently corrects and uplifts, and patience quietly endures and forgives. As Sts. Clement, Augustine and other Church Fathers expounded, these virtues, anchored in divine grace, lead not only to personal transformation but become the means by which the world glimpses the beauty of God. In pursuing kindness and patience, Christians become living images of the mercy and steadfastness of Christ, their lives a testimony to the enduring strength and surprising gentleness of divine love poured out upon the world.
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“Love is patient and kind … it is not arrogant or rude … it is not irritable or resentful … Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
Editor’s note: Rev. Glenn Jones is the Vicar General of the Archdiocese of Santa Fe and former pastor of Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church in Los Alamos.