By Fr. Glenn Jones:
A violent passion that most—if not all—of us have suffered is the desire for revenge against wrongs—wrongs against ourselves and to our loved ones, or even for blatant injuries done towards the innocent. Who has not experienced wrath when witnessing injustices? In fact, we viscerally tend not toward parity retribution or justice, but excessive revenge—the “destroy my house and I’ll destroy your life” mentality. People are killed for even trivial road-rage-causing “offenses”!
The ancient wisdom of Marcus Aurelius, although a pagan philosopher, holds a truth that resonates well with the Christian Gospel: “The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury.” This theme finds its deepest fulfillment not in passive resignation but rather in the teaching of Jesus, who calls His disciples to transcend vengeance altogether. To become UN-like the vengeful, Christ shows us, is to embrace mercy, forgiveness, and holiness in a world fixated on retaliation. In fact, as we see all too often, if people refuse to embrace those virtues, endless cycles of retribution and hatred manifest themselves.
But at the heart of Scripture lies rejection of such cycles of vengeance. The Old Testament already sought to curb the spiral of violence by instituting the principle of “an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth” (Exodus 21:24), which might be stated “ONLY an eye for an eye” … not “both eyes, an arm … and we’ll take that nose, too!” So, such laws were not licenses for revenge as often thought but rather limits placed upon it.
Yet Jesus elevates the principle further: “You have heard that it was said, ‘An eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth.’ But I say to you, Do not resist the one who is evil. But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also’” (Matthew 5:38–39). Jesus does not merely forbid excessive retaliation; He rejects revenge altogether. One who strikes us expects an answering blow, but the disciple of Jesus offers instead a disarming response. The “best revenge” for a Christian is thus not vengeance but the conversion of heart so that the injury and hatred cannot reproduce their likeness in us.
St. Paul expounds on this truth: “Do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good” (Romans 12:21), and we read elsewhere: “be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you” (Ephesians 4:32). The Christian is not to mirror the sins of his offender, but to mirror instead the mercy of Christ crucified, who prayed even for His executioners: “Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do” (Luke 23:34).
The early Fathers expounded on this radical ethic. Tertullian mocked the pagan world’s obsession with retaliation, noting how Christians confound their enemies precisely by refusing to respond in kind: “See how they love one another, and how they are ready to die for each other,” he writes, emphasizing how dramatically Christians break with the culture of vengeance. Similarly, St. John Chrysostom insisted that the true victory lies in refraining from anger altogether: “To return an injury is to be injured twice; but to endure an injury nobly is to be crowned.” Chrysostom teaches that when we resist the temptation to mirror the wrongdoer, we display the true likeness of Jesus, who bore silently the lash and the cross. He warns that nothing is more Christlike than loving one’s enemies and suffering injustice patiently, reminding us: “Forgive another, and you are imitating God; you are made like God.”
No passage in Scripture demonstrates this theme more than Jesus’ Passion. Jesus, utterly innocent, subjected to betrayal, torture, and death, exacts no revenge. Instead, He manifests a love contradicting the hatred directed at Him. In this way, the Cross itself becomes the ultimate demonstration that the “best revenge” is to be unlike the offender. Rulers mocked Him, soldiers scourged Him, the crowd jeered at Him. But Christ’s response was not a mirror of their cruelty; it was silence full of patience and forgiveness.
So, O Christian, we witness in the Passion the overarching love and forgiveness of God for us, and so do we not “owe” God a like response toward others? We might remember: “He that takes vengeance will suffer vengeance from the Lord, and he will firmly establish[a] his sins. Forgive your neighbor the wrong he has done, and then your sins will be pardoned when you pray. Does a man harbor anger against another, and yet seek for healing from the Lord? Does he have no mercy toward a man like himself, and yet pray for his own sins?” (Sirach 28:1-4) We are not only given supreme example, but obligation.
The Christian thus learns that being “unlike the one who performed the injury” is itself the greatest act of justice. While the world applauds retaliation as a defense of honor, disciples of Jesus gain higher glory by refusing to descend to the level of the aggressor. To forgive is not to deny the reality of the injury, but to deny it dominion over us. It is to side with Christ, who transforms suffering into redemptive love.
“The best revenge is to be unlike him who performed the injury.” For Christians, this principle a rule of life grounded in the Cross. The only true victory over evil is goodness, the only real triumph over hatred is love, and the only lasting revenge is to be conformed, not to the aggressor, but to the image of Jesus Himself. This is the heart of the Christian life—not to echo the violence or abuse of the world, but, as true children, to show forth the character of our heavenly Father. To endure injury without bitterness, to bestow blessing where one has received curses—this is to bear the mark of Jesus.
The world will never stop injuring, but Christ has given us a new way. The “best revenge” is to be transformed by the mercy given to all in Christ. Let us, then, be so changed by God’s forgiveness that old cycles of animalistic vengeance are broken, and the world at last glimpses the image of the Father in the children of God.
Editor’s note: Rev. Glenn Jones is the Vicar General of the Archdiocese of Santa Fe and former pastor of Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church in Los Alamos.