Fr. Glenn Jones:

It is tragic duty—and yet privilege—that we priests and ministers fulfill when with families and friends in times of dire grief—the unexpected death of a family member (especially the young), being present with them through sickness and trials … offering solace as best as able in circumstances which do not lend to solace easily … in times of weeping and pervading helplessness when faced with that which cannot be changed.

Such was my pondering during one of several funerals of young persons I’ve attended recently, recalling also the many (waaaayyy too many) of years past. Some resulted from events unforeseeable and hardly avoidable:  automobile accidents, sickness, crime and the like. After all, whom among the thousands strolling into work in New York on 9/11 … steaming cup of Starbucks in hand … could have foreseen a plane flying into their building only minutes later?

But, then, there are those which are more tragic because of the needlessness of the circumstance: the overdosing substance abusers … the reckless daredevils … those who take their own lives … each of their losses injuring all around them as an exploding grenade. And we—the left behind—ask that heart-rending question: “Why?” And, even more agonizing, is the self-accusation … the self-flagellation, especially of parents and spouses: “What did I do wrong?! What could I have done to prevent it?! Why didn’t I see it?!!” … the question many parents and loved ones also ask when their kids “go wrong,” despite St. Paul’s insight: “…what person knows a man’s thoughts except the spirit of the man which is in him?” (1 Corinthians 2:11)

The sorrowing need remember that they are only single voices among thousands vying for their loved ones’ attention, especially in our day with temptations so enabled by unintended consequences in modern communication—misinformation, scheming malefactors, mercenary deceivers profiting from the naïveté of the inexperienced, predators of disenchanted youth. “Hey, kid … this [insert self-destructive activity here] will give you the greatest thrill … this drug the greatest pleasure!” …etc. … sirens’ seductive voices which call toward destruction…

…because, like all of us, these are searching … searching … ever searching—vainly—for that which cannot be had in this life … for that fulfilment which is truly filling, yet ever fleeting … the dreamt utopia allowing no admittance to sorrow, disappointment, pain, even the mundane … all of which are inevitably part of the human condition. These cannot escape that internal ghostly voice ever whispering that the grass must be greener somewhere—anywhere—else. Yet … is that not a definition of temptation? … believing credulously that that which tempts will bring greater happiness than which we now possess?

Thus a bit of the wisdom of Genesis, when Eve reaches out for the forbidden fruit … suppressing knowledge of foreseeable consequences … that it would bite back! Deceived by the serpent (“You will be like God!”(Genesis 3:5)), Adam and Eve in a sense make themselves their own gods … make their own rules … even though repercussions are easily foreseen … the reader longing to call out: “Don’t DO it!!”  But … the fruit, they thought, would make their grass greener, and: “…so when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate; and she also gave some to her husband, and he ate.” (Genesis 3:6) 

Such is the futile searching that ever plagues mankind, many seeking gratification in drugs, drink, adrenaline, affairs, etc., although consequences are so easily predictable. Young people are the easiest targets because of their inexperience and natural and hormonal drive to form their individual identity … to stand out from among the crowd in aboriginal drive to present themselves as a desired mate … leading to that teenage rebellion in doing those things their battle-scarred parents advise against or even forbid.  Because … the grass MUST be greener in something else … in something other than family … in something other than the acceptable. “Maybe THIS forbidden fruit will lead to that contentment I seek!”  And the fruit bites back … often tragically.

We, the older and more experienced, then reflexively ask those inevitable questions: “Why?! Couldn’t THEY have foreseen it?” After all, one need only scan the news, drive though certain areas of cities, or read obituaries on funeral home sites to discern the futility of such restlessness … of those who went frantically searching … searching … for fleeting and unattainable fulfillment. And yet … the older are those who have survived the temptations of youthful naiveté to come out on the other side … wiser from the memory of the fallen … calling to the newly-endangered like messengers to Job: “I, alone, have escaped to tell you!” (Job 1). But, even we experienced cannot but still hear the ceaseless sirens’ call … ever hearkening … ever calling to shipwreck ourselves—and family and friends—upon the rocks of selfishness.

We Christians know, though, that the insatiable thirst within us for this sensually-unperceivable happiness is the whisper of God … the irrepressible yearning for that fulfillment which truly DOES exist, but which is able to be discerned only with spiritual certainty, else we would not be ever drawn to seek it.

The author of the book of Ecclesiastes knew this, writing that he had denied himself no sensual pleasure under the sun, and yet found that “All is vanity.” So many famous sinners who became saints knew this—St. Francis, St. Ignatius Loyola, St. Teresa of Avila, and so many others—realized that seeking lasting and complete earthly happiness was “a striving after wind.” They knew, as St. Augustine—one of the most notable of all the sinners-become-saints—did when he penned his prayer, that eternal joy is only in the eternal God, and thus: “Our hearts our restless until they rest in You.” Thus, Augustine’s “Confessions” are as applicable and moving today as when written 1700 years ago.

And so … in our free will we can flounder futilely for a lifetime if we wish. Search every crevice of every canyon … plumb the depths of every ocean … mount the highest of mountains … on earth and beyond, but we will never—CAN never—find that absolute fulfillment we seek except in God. For, in the end, our happiness is in … love … and “God IS love” (1 John 4:16), and thus true “Full-Fill”-ment rests only in Him … and thus “…no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man conceived, what God has prepared for those who love him.” (1 Corinthians 2:9)

Rev. Glenn Jones is the Vicar General of the Archdiocese of Santa Fe and former pastor of Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church in Los Alamos.