By DR. TED WIARD

Editors Note: This is an ongoing series by grief specialist Dr. Ted Wiard, dedicated to helping educate the community about emotional healing.

As a collective, we are moving through the phases of healing from loss while trying to establish a “new norm’, while the grief phases are following their natural and normal process.

Usually this process makes sense as that new norm is established, the problem is with this virus, the new norm is in continuous flux, and adapting to the present is ambiguous causing high levels of stress individually and collectively.

In the grief process one of the phases is acceptance which is the acknowledgement of a fact. This does not mean that everything is better, it only means that there is a higher more conscious level of acknowledgement of loss and change. Over the last six months, there is more acceptance that this virus is not going away and we need to adapt to that fact.

Levels of grief and trauma continue as the longing for the way things used to be in each person’s world also continues. Being caught in long-term trauma and grief with no clear benchmark of when it will end can be exhausting. In addition, the world continues to have present life losses and stressors not related to COVID-19, but the healing process is impacting these life gateways of healing.

Rituals and ceremonies are having to be conducted differently or even bypassed due to restrictions and safety measures, without avenues of acknowledgement of these life changes. Funerals, weddings, graduations, baptisms, birthdays, anniversaries and other life changing events can be lost in confusion and chaos. Slowly, new ways are being adapted and normalized but this does not mean there is not stress in these transition states.

Similar to the grief process, researchers are now referring to the COVID-19 Stress Continuum to help identify where someone is in this difficult time.

The signs are:

• Ready – acceptance the stressor is real but able to take action to work with the emotional distressors,
• Reacting – blaming and taking reactionary and impulsive actions rather than thought-out responses,
• Injured – a place of situational depression with withdrawal, fear, hyper focused on the news, but frozen for response, exhaustion, futility, and lack of life-performance,
• Critical – terrified, hopelessness, suicidal ideation, emotional dysregulation, unable to engage in life, and a high level of paranoia and self-preservation or defeat.

The Continuum also identifies the Action Continuum as:

• Minimize exposure, Potential – self-awareness of emotional stability or instability,
• Signs and Symptoms – Identify where a person is on the continuum (ready, reacting, injured, and critical),
• Follow Up – find supports to be emotionally stable to be proactive,
• Plan for Exposure – developing a provisional plan for any chance of exposure.

Identifying where a person is can help mitigate stress and trauma and help build an emotional foundation of safety, calm, empowerment, connection, and hope.

If you wish to learn more, This Continuum is available at www.responderalliance.com. Finding ways to have action (possibly in new format) mentally and emotionally, physically, and spiritually allows levels of autonomy which calms the nervous system.

Identifying where someone is in their internal foundation and then finding ways to maintain, repair, or rebuild the emotional infrastructure is key for emotional healing. I wish you well, and until the next time, take care.

Golden Willow Retreat is a nonprofit organization focused on emotional healing and recovery from any type of loss. Direct any questions to Dr. Ted Wiard, EdD, LPCC, CGC, Founder of Golden Willow Retreat at: GWR@newmex.com or call at 575.776.2024. Los Alamos virtual grief support group is offered, at no charge, please check it out at www.goldenwillowretreat.org.