By DR. TED WIARD
Golden Willow Retreat

Yesterday I read an essay from a person speaking on the topic of the difficulties and barriers from mental wellness and how it can be very flippant for such a large percentage of the population that does not struggle with issues such as trauma, grief, socioeconomic stability, physical health, genetics, other mental disorders, and other issues that seem to be blind or overlooked by many people.

There has been a cognitive dissonance around these issues in which I have even been blamed for “falling into the trap that positive thinking will take care of everything”.

Bobby McFerrin’s song, “Don’t Worry, Be Happy,” is a great example of a song that can bring lightness to someone’s heart, or be a reminder to take a breath and find lightness in this difficult world while finding the joy of living.

This is absolutely true and beneficial if someone’s emotional and physical foundation of life is established and dependable and consistent with multiple supports to keep a stabilized life that can navigate the trials and tribulations that hit each and very person at some time in their life.

In 1943 Abraham Maslow exposed a theory of human needs for human motivation and growth. To grow and have the “just be happy” place takes a scaffolding approach, starting with basic needs met (air, water, food, shelter, and clothing) and then incrementally moving to safety (employment, resources, health, mental health, and opportunity), to love and belonging (friendship, intimacy, family, and a sense of connection) rising to esteem (respect, self-esteem, status, recognition, strength, and autonomy), and finally reaching the top of the pyramid of self-actualization (desire to become the most one can be emotionally, physically, mentally, and intellectually).

Within each of these incrementally established levels, there are barriers that make it difficult and it can seem close to impossible for many people within the world.

I do believe finding the positive in any situation can help build resiliency and sustainability as well as passion to continue to step forward in life, and yet it also takes support, community, and a social system where people are given the supports with the everyday struggles and disciplines to say alive from mental disorders, racism, sexism, and all the other bigotries that flood society every day and cause fear, mistrust, and separation.

Mental illness and other barriers to self-actualization are very real and cannot be flippantly placed at the feet of the person struggling for survival, as “just have a positive attitude and all will be okay”. Instead, as a society, there is the opportunity to work together and realize that many barriers to success are not due to laziness or a choice, but by not being given the supports to be able to heal, grow and evolve.

A common phrase heard more than once is to “pull yourself up by your bootstraps”. This actually came from the 1800s as a joking phrase of something being physically impossible. Time changes the meaning, but if we can take the idea that by someone having the opportunity to have boots with laces, and support from the environment around them, miracles can happen, addiction, poverty, futility, and barriers from success could diminish with each person doing their part as a community to open avenues and supports for everybody to be supported in a better quality of life.

There is hope for everyone if we take care of each other, because all we have is each other. Thank you Josie, for bringing this to my attention and fighting for the underprivileged. I wish you well, and until the next column, take care.

Golden Willow Retreat is a nonprofit organization focused on emotional healing and recovery from any type of loss. Direct questions to Dr. Ted Wiard, EdD, LPCC, CGC, founder of Golden Willow Retreat GWR@newmex.com or call at 575.776.2024.