By CYNTHIA BIDDLECOMB“The Farewell” opens with these words written across the screen, “Based on an actual lie.”
Next, a grandmother in China talks on her cell phone while she waits for her sister to talk to the doctor. On the other end of the line is Billi (played by the comedian, Awkwafina), her beloved granddaughter in New York City. “Nai Nai”, the grandmother (played brilliantly by the popular Chinese actress Shuzhen Zhao), doesn’t tell Billi that she just had a CT scan and that her sister is asking for the results.
The “actual lie” begins when Nai Nai’s sister returns from talking with the doctor but keeps the news to herself: Nai Nai’s CT results show Stage Four lung cancer.
It is only a matter of time before Nai Nai’s two sons overseas get the bad news from their auntie and make plans to see their mother. When Billi finds out that her parents (played by Tzi Ma and Diana Lin) are heading to China, she is shocked to learn that no one is to tell Nai Nai how sick she really is. Regardless, Billi drops everything to head to her grandma’s side.
Meanwhile, Nai Nai’s other son in Japan has concocted the perfect foil: his son, who has been dating a Japanese girl for three months, will bring her to China to get married. Under these false pretenses, the family gathers around the matriarch living what they expect will be her last days.
The film is by turns funny and supremely sad. American values instilled in Billi throughout her schooling in the U.S. mitigate against the practice of keeping from a loved one the news of their terminal illness. It is, as we learn, not uncommon in China. Family members feel responsible to carry the burden and anxiety for the one who is ill, trying to prolong their life by waiting until near the very end to tell the truth.
Lightening the load of all this are truly funny scenes between the China-based members of the family and those who live in America and Japan. There are many scenes with piles of food to eat, while family members push each other’s buttons
Awkwafina, as Billi, excels at the comedic scenes, as one would expect. What we don’t expect is that she nails the dramatic scenes just as convincingly. Nai Nai turns out to be a strong and resilient person, someone we are astounded to see living her life fully and with great joy. Billi’s parents straddle the cultural boundaries but struggle with the strain of family expectations. At the same time, they have to explain to Billi why things are done the way they are. Underlying all of it is the wonderful relationship between grandmother and granddaughter.
The Farewell is written and directed by Lulu Wang who based the story on her own family. Her grandmother was lied to about her terminal diagnosis. The family gathered back in China under false pretenses and no one told the grandmother the truth. Her grandmother lived to visit the set while the film was being made but bought the story that it was about a reunion of family members who had emigrated from China. She was living still when the film was released in July.
This is a touching film and highly recommended. Even if you don’t mind reading subtitles, you will be happy to know that there is a lot of English spoken in the film within the American side of the family. The difference in languages (Mandarin, English and Japanese) is one of the tools used to enhance the awkwardness of situations. Filmed in Changchun, China, and New York City, The Farewell is “Rated PG for thematic material, brief language and some smoking.”