CDC Reports there is NO Zombie Apocalypse

By Greg Kendall

CDC promotional image.

Is a Zombie Apocalypse sweeping the nation?

After a string of grizzly incidents of crazed flesh eating struck the United States, the CDC has let it be known that it “does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms),”  David Daigle as spokesman for the CDC, gave this message to The Huffington Post on Friday.

The CDC, trying to capitalize on the Zombie Apocalypse frenzy brought on by TV shows such as The Walking Dead and other zombie themed movies, has released promotional materials on how to survive a zombie attack. The CDC hoped that the zombie hype would encourage citizens to increase their preparedness for non-zombie involved emergencies with their “tongue-in-cheek” prepardeness campaign. 

Here is how the CDC put it: CDC has a fun new way of teaching the importance of emergency preparedness. Our new graphic novel, “Preparedness 101: Zombie Pandemic” demonstrates the importance of being prepared in an entertaining way that people of all ages will enjoy. Readers follow Todd, Julie, and their dog Max as a strange new disease begins spreading, turning ordinary people into

After several, all too real, incidents involving flesh eating and other gruesome behaviors were reported by national news outlets in recent days, the CDC must have felt compelled to issue a statement to calm public concerns over these recent aberrant events.

For more on the CDC and it’s disavowment of any type of Zombie Apocalypse, we direct you to Time Magazines NewsFeed.

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