Courtesy/Robert Dryja

By ROBERT DRYJA
President
Los Alamos Retirement Community

Life involves a series of transitions. The most apparent transitions occur as children grow from pre-school to elementary, to middle school, and finally high school. Their understanding of the world and relating to one another grows with their physical maturation.

Another important transition at the opposite end of life emerges when people enter old age. However, American society doesn’t educate us about what we need to do as to successfully age toward the end life. We are not like grown children transitioning into adult life.  

One reason why we’re not educated about aging is that many younger people don’t become involved in activities with elders. As a result, a variety of issues relating to aging are not addressed until a younger or an older person must deal with them.

For example, social isolation is a primary issue, as when an elder must remain alone at home if they cannot drive or walk somewhere to visit others. Safety concerns become more important. Aging people are more likely to have falls or injuries.

One of the most disconcerting is the major social and psychological issues that emerge when familial roles reverse—grown children need to become the parents while their parents become more like children.  

Finally, even in Los Alamos, with many incomes nearly twice that of the national average, an estimated 809 of 18,625 of our own residents live in poverty.  Of these, people over age 65 represent 176 of those living in poverty.

We might not be prepared for the changing conditions that emerge as we or our family members become increasingly older. This occurs even though we have a large spectrum of health services in Los Alamos.  As aging inevitably decreases our overall fitness, how shall we cope with increasing physical and mental frailty, chronic medical conditions, or social isolation?  

Consider the following example. An older person becomes acutely ill while living alone at home. In spite of the illness, the person does not want to see a doctor or go to the hospital. Finally, one of their grown children arranges for a visiting nurse to come. The visiting nurse then arranges for the older person to be taken to the hospital emergency room for further evaluation.

The hospital medical staff deal with the immediate problem but say the older person needs to be transferred to a nursing home for hospice care.  The grown child is confused and upset because they think they have to find an ambulance to take their aging parent out of town.  They do not know a nearby nursing home has a transport van available and provides hospice care. The grown child preferably would have understood the kinds of services before they became needed. 

There are organizations at one end of the aging spectrum that provide ways to avoid social isolation.  Family and friends, senior centers, clubs, and churches are examples. Further along that spectrum are home health care and visiting nurse organizations which might also offer physical therapy services. Los Alamos has these services. However, an older person may understandably want to remain in their home, no matter what their condition. Family members—or even friends—might understand their loved one is no longer capable of self-care.  

Friends and family can learn from what is perhaps a painful, albeit necessary life transition. What systems are available in order to help (and encourage) the elder to make a decision that best serves the health and welfare of both the elder and the caregiver? Home health care? Assisted living? An older person may understandably want to remain in their home, no matter what their condition. But what if an assisted care facility is nearby? How can a younger relative learn about the facility? How can the older person be introduced to it before a transition from home is required?

The advantage of assisted living is that it will relieve the elder of one of the worst issues of aging—social isolation. Assisted living offers not only “assistance,” but a community. This decision, of course, is difficult, and many of us resist admitting that we need this transition. In order to begin this transition, it is helpful for a relative or friend to learn about a facility so the older person can be introduced to it before an emergency transition from home is required. 

Los Alamos has such a facility and community in Aspen Ridge. With the current decline of SARS CoV-2/Omicron, you are invited to visit the facility if you are fully vaccinated. Investigate whether our hometown assisted living facility is a transition you would like to make.

We will explore this spectrum in more detail in future articles. However, you may want to contact the following organizations if you have immediate concerns.  Contact the Los Alamos Retirement Community at 505.662.4300 about assisted living and nursing home care. Contact the Los Alamos Senior Center at 505.662.8920 about dining and social life. The Los Alamos Visiting Nurse Service at 505.662.2525 can help with home health and hospice care.