Clergy from left, The Rev. Mary Ann Hill, Pastor Nicolé Ferry, Deacon  Cynthia Biddlecomb, retired, Associate Priest Lynn Finnegan and Pastor Deb Church. Photo by Nate Limback/ladailypost.com

By Pastor Nicolé Raddu Ferry
Bethlehem Evangelical Lutheran Church

“Solitary confinement involves physical isolation. This means a person has minimal interaction with other people. It can cause severe psychological distress and other adverse mental effects. Isolation can be as distressing as physical torture and it can create the following: anxiety and stress, depression and hopelessness, anger and irritability, and hostility and panic attacks.” Oh, and those symptoms? They are only the top pairs from a list of fifteen things that can happen. This definition and explanation from a couple of different medical sites affirmed for me what I already knew: the last four years have been incredibly challenging for all of us, and I believe that we have been in our own “solitary confinement” (i.e., long-term isolation).

During the height of our COVID isolation, there was a joke in our family that my husband and daughter were “just fine” during this time of isolation as they are proud introverts. I, however, am not. I thrive in community, and to complicate things further in my profession, there were NO CLASSES in seminary that taught us how to be a pastor in the middle of a pandemic.

In seminary, we were taught to gather, to visit, and to give bread and wine from Jesus’ holy meal to people -directly- into their hands. We were to hold hands when folks were crying and sit with them when loved ones were dying. We were to sing and pray out loud, together, in community. That is until solitary confinement and isolation entered our world to protect us while our medical world worked to offer their best treatment to keep us all safe.

I have learned so much in the last four years, and the deepest learning is that I need community. I need people and a place where I am known, where I am accepted, where encouragement is given, and, often, where a meal is shared. I need a place where I am reminded that I am loved despite the my flaws. I deeply resonated with the following quotes:

“Sometimes you need that soft place to fall. That’s your family, your faith. The stuff that doesn’t change when everything else does.” ~Lisa Wingate

“I loved the feeling, the feeling of the gifts of interdependence. You know, that if we can move away from this model of rugged, exhausting independence. There are seasons of our life where we just can’t be self-made, we need to, like, sink back into the people who can love us and help reconstitute us.

Love is big and has room enough for us all and thank God that we are a group project. I couldn’t do this, all of this, without my friends and my family and the teachers I see over Zoom. Bless you. Without spiritual communities and colleagues and the comfort of prayer, without delicious meals and yummy candles and small delights.” ~Dr. Kate Bowler

Friends, all of the writers of this article know that many of you have been hurt by communities of faith, and we cannot erase what happened. And (not but) I have presided over many services where we celebrate a life that has ended, and the question is asked: “What do folks do who do not have a faith community during such times?” These are especially the times of our lives when community is life-giving.

“As he saw the crowds, his heart was filled with pity for them, because they were worried and helpless, like sheep without a shepherd” (Matthew 9:36). This week our churches reflect on Jesus being the Good Shepherd. A shepherd filled with compassion and love knowing the gift of the collective.

May we remember we are a group project. May we remember we really could not do “whatever this” we are doing without others. May we remember the power of love.

Amen and amen.

Editor’s note: ‘All Shall Be Well’ is a column written by local women clergy including ELCA Deacon Cynthia Biddlecomb, M.Div., retired (czoebidd@gmail.com); Pastor Nicolé Ferry, Bethlehem Evangelical Lutheran Church (pastornicole@bethluth.com); Associate Priest Lynn Finnegan, The Episcopal Church of the Holy Faith, Santa Fe (rev.lynn@holyfaithchurchsf.org); Pastor Deb Church, White Rock Presbyterian Church (pastor@wrpchurch.com) and The Rev. Mary Ann Hill, Rector, Trinity on the Hill Episcopal Church (momaryannhill@gmail.com).