Pawlak: Children of the NRA

Los Alamos

Do you remember the last time you bit your tongue? When you do bite your tongue, you can’t seem to stop biting it. You start focusing on the pain and consciously trying to avoid chewing on it, and in doing so, you find that you almost can’t help biting it again. It’s like the bitten area has swollen to the size of a grape and it’s impossible for you to close your mouth without clamping down on it.

It’s human nature to zero in on that which most offends us, and in doing so we give its existence a strange sort of credence.

Enter one of the strangest and most annoying grapes, Wayne LaPierre, spokesperson for those who can’t muster enough hatred and stupidity on their own, and so they hire someone to do it for them.

LaPierre calls the NRA “the world’s largest civil rights organization in the world.” This is like calling the Al Qaeda the world’s most successful social awareness program. But criticism never seems to hurt LaPierre’s feelings. He doesn’t have enough of a brain stem to support a headache.

When some gun-toting moron shot up the Newtown Elementary School, the NRA and its supporters immediately blamed gun laws for the murders and gun sales went through the roof.

Ah, but guns don’t kill people! Only bad guys with guns kill people, right?

This braindead rhetoric reminds me of the joke about the guy who kills his parents and then asks for leniency because he’s an orphan. The logic used by LaPierre and his “shoot first and ask questions later” followers is mind numbing.

If a person uses a gun to murder, that person is by definition a criminal, and hence only criminals use guns for bad things. Everyone else is a good guy, until of course a good guy murders someone. But then, he becomes a bad guy.

And round and round and round she goes! Where common sense ends, no one knows.

So, just how moronic can the NRA get?

Consider Eddie Eagle, their “symbol of patriotism” dressed up as a flag waving American bald eagle, “educating” young children on gun safety.

The NRA promoting itself as a safety organization? What next, the KKK declaring itself to be a youth leadership program?

Eddie Eagle admonishes children, “If you see a gun, don’t touch it! Get an adult!”

Well, that sounds good, right? But this is the same organization that celebrated its “Youth Day” at its last convention by encouraging children as young as 3-years old to take up arms and rejoice in their second Amendment rights. 357 magnum armed members with 22 caliber brains applauded as these young children were given free 6-month memberships.

The Nazis gave out free uniforms and Swastika embossed knives to their youth also. Could this be the start of an NRAjugend club? (with an acknowledging nod to Godwin)

And I wonder what Eddie was saying when the NRA openly fought against laws that would make it a criminal activity to have guns accessible by young children, even when a child accidentally kills himself with an unsupervised weapon.

Shannon Watts (founder of Gun Sense in America) pointed out that if you were drinking and accidentally drove over and killed your own child, you most certainly would go to jail. But if you leave a loaded pistol in your living room and your four-year old daughter shoots herself – well, that’s just a terrible accident and no one is to blame.

Last month, a 1-year old was killed in Wichita after being shot by a 3-year old boy. The NRA certainly would use this as yet another example of their contorted logic that we should be arming and training preschoolers for “safe usage of firearms”.

LaPierre and his card-carrying ditto-heads would say, “The only thing that stops a bad 3 year old with a gun is a good 1 year old with a gun!”

The more I think about it, the more attractive tongue-chewing sounds to me. Maybe we can get LaPierre and his “I have the right to shoot people!” gun-nuts to chew theirs? Then we wouldn’t have to listen to this garbage any more.

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