Fr. Glenn Jones

No doubt we’ve all run into those elderly persons who become very … um … “loquacious” about days gone by, regaling us with exploits long past. And yet … now I find myself doing the same thing. Guess I’m nudging into the third of the three ages groups: young, middle-age and “hey … you look good!” Well … I guess that’s better than the alternative.

As we enter our less-capable years, older folks relish reliving their heyday (when they can find someone patient enough to listen), knowing that most likely the most exciting times of life are behind them—bones are creaking, muscles are aching, things are going “pop” without warning (trust me … I know). Veterans are especially prone to reminisce about their military service:  whether they saw combat or not—how they took the hill, how they fooled the officer, the perfect shooting score, etc., … perhaps embellishing just a teensy bit with each retelling.

Perhaps the elderly (especially we guys) boast of youthful exploits in an attempt to justify their lives—may not even so much to others, but to themselves. One of the truest lines I’ve heard in a movie opens “Act of Valor”, when the Navy SEAL narrator says: “Before my father died, he said the worst thing about growing old was that other men stopped seeing you as dangerous.”  Good men don’t want to BE dangerous, of course … except maybe toward those who would be themselves dangerous to others … to protect those who are unable to adequately protect themselves.

So we men absolutely hate the loss of our youthful virility, as wives know all too well when older husbands try to “keep up with the kids,” and then end up in traction … or at least desperately seeking the bottle of ibuprofen. Men abhor having to admit that they’ve “lost it”, because wrapped up in our strength and virility is much of our sense of self-worth. Yet in wisdom that can come with age IS a strength beyond the physical. Perhaps this was in the minds of the author of Proverbs as he wrote: “The glory of young men is their strength, but the beauty of old men is their gray hair [meaning their wisdom … we hope!]. (Proverbs 20:29)

Ladies, on the other hand, I’ve noticed, seem to focus rather more on the exploits and current condition of the children and the family, boasting a bit of their kids, the grandkids, and generations on down. “Little Bobby is an engineer now. Betsy is a colonel in the Air Force”.  “Billy is going to Harvard.” Etc. Perhaps a bit less insecure than we guys.

Yes, we who are getting a bit towards the elderly side tend to glory in our past … perhaps to assure ourselves—and others—that we still have value … that we’re not just taking up space.  Sadly, a more foolish youth might wonder the same thing about the older set. “What can they do? Strength is power!” We’ve all seen videos of youthful cowardly thugs preying upon the elderly. Such criminality is repugnant in itself, but to prey upon the weak is particularly despicable … and weak, and foolish. We are reminded of the book of Wisdom narrating the evildoer: “‘Let us oppress the righteous poor man; let us not spare the widow nor regard the gray hairs of the aged. But let our might be our law of right, for what is weak proves itself to be useless.’ (Wisdom 2:10-11)…Thus they reasoned, but they were led astray, for their wickedness blinded them, and they did not know the secret purposes of God, nor hope for the wages of holiness, nor discern the prize for blameless souls…” (Wisdom 2:21-22)

And the irony is: such thugs don’t realize that they leave true wealth—true treasure—behind. Like smoke in the wind will be the material they steal, but the treasure of wisdom accumulated over decades of experiences is worth infinitely more, not to even mention the comfort and joy of warm relationships that might have been, but are disdained. Each elder is a novel … a library … indeed, a university in himself … a storehouse of experiential knowledge.

So, older person: when you find yourself wondering whether you still have worth, whether your life is still worth living, know absolutely that the answer is an unqualified “Yes!” But to make that life even more valuable is utilizing that knowledge and experience—and passing it on— wherever you can. Don’t hoard such a treasure away in a dusty unused archive of memory unshared.

To the younger set: Know that your elders have been where you ARE, and where you are going … as well as having been so many other places and having had so many more experiences (“Rich experience is the crown of the aged…” (Sirach 25:6)) And, where they are now, you one day also will be, so respect the elderly—especially those of your own family who have made untold sacrifices for you. This is only right, recalling scripture: “Son, help your father in his old age, and do not grieve him as long as he lives; even if he is lacking in understanding, show forbearance; in all your strength do not despise him. For kindness to a father will not be forgotten, and against your sins it will be credited to you…” (Sirach 3:12-14) Teach your children to do the same, for the “what goes around, comes around” rule proves true, and they will remember how YOU treated the elderly when YOU are older (“Stand up in the presence of the aged, and show respect for the old…I am the LORD.” (Leviticus 19:32))

In fine, let us do what simple common sense directs: “Do not slight the discourse of the sages, but busy yourself with their maxims; because from them you will gain instruction…Do not disregard the discourse of the aged, for they themselves learned from their fathers; because from them you will gain understanding and learn how to give an answer in time of need.” (Sirach 8:8-9)

Rev. Glenn Jones is the Vicar General of the Archdiocese of Santa Fe and former pastor of Immaculate Heart of Mary Catholic Church in Los Alamos.